So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
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I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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