Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
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my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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