R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize