i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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