it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize