Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
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I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
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Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
there is glitter all over my balls
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