phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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