Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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