I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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