I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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