just tell him i said nine months
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize