YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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