she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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