question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize