i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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