Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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