so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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