So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize