you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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