My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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