I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize