I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize