Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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