I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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