There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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