He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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