I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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