How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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