Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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