I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize