my sisters under your porch take her home
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize