Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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