who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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