This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
there's paper in my vomit.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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