Kiss
Puke
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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