you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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