So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
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whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
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I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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