It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
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that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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