I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize