Say something about gay babies.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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