I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
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Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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