We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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