Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize