No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize