i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
someone threw a dead crab at me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize