Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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