Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize