And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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