Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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