he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
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he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
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I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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